My child is homesick after moving abroad: what helps?
Life Scenario team · Published · Ages 6–14
How can I help my child with homesickness after moving abroad?
Practice “I miss home” and “What do we know about going back?” with a child who is homesick after moving abroad. Give an honest answer about plans, keep familiar routines, and ask which part of daily life needs support. Your child may enjoy something new and still miss home.
No sign-up · about 2 minutes
Key takeaways
- Ask what home means in this moment: people, routines, language, places, or feeling understood.
- Be clear about what is known and unknown about a return instead of using vague reassurance.
- Keep familiar parts of family life while making room for new routines.
- A child can miss the old place and still try something in the new one.
- Ask about specific school, health, or safety worries as well as homesickness.
When “we'll go home” has become a different plan in your child's mind
Your child describes next term as if they will be back in the old classroom. You thought the move was understood; they may have heard that it was temporary, that you would visit soon, or simply that things could change. Before persuading them to enjoy the new place, check what they believe the family has decided. Hope and a confirmed plan can easily become tangled.
Homesickness may be about much more than friends. Your child might miss knowing the way around, understanding jokes, finding familiar food, or spending time with a relative after school. Ask about a specific moment when home felt far away. A useful answer gives you something to support instead of turning the entire country into a comparison that neither of you can resolve.
Child Mind Institute's moving guidance highlights familiar belongings, routines, and keeping communication open. Those specific supports do not require the child to celebrate the move. A familiar breakfast or a reliable bedtime ritual can belong in the new home even while the child feels sad. Keep familiar comforts available on difficult days too.
4 phrases for explaining homesickness
1.“I miss home.”
Use this as an opening when the child cannot yet name every part of the feeling. The parent can listen before asking which person, place, or routine comes to mind.
2.“What do we know about going back?”
Choose this when the child needs information about family plans. Tell your child what you know about future visits and what is still undecided.
3.“Can we keep doing this together?”
Practice this for a familiar routine the child wants to preserve. Discuss what is possible and adapt the routine if circumstances have changed.
4.“This part of the day is hard.”
Use this to identify a concrete difficulty, such as lunch, the trip to school, or bedtime. It can help adults arrange support beyond general encouragement.
Your child has seen “I miss home” on the page; now let them try saying it. Life Scenario presents a situation that may include a refusal or misunderstanding, and gives feedback on their answer out loud.
No sign-up · about 2 minutes
What not to say (and what to say instead)
| Instead of | Try | Why |
|---|---|---|
“You'll love it once you make an effort.” | “What feels hardest about being here today?” | A demand for effort can miss a specific barrier or a loss the child needs you to understand, while a specific question gives the conversation a small starting point. |
“We'll go home soon.” | “Here is what we know about the next visit.” | Vague timing can become a promise in the child's mind, so separate confirmed plans from hopes and say when you expect to know more. |
“Other children settle much faster.” | “Let's look at what would make your week easier.” | Comparison turns adjustment into a race, whereas a particular routine or support need gives adults something useful to change. |
“Stop comparing everything with home.” | “You can miss that and tell me about it.” | The old place remains part of the child's life, and being allowed to remember it can coexist with specific support for life now. |
What do I say when my child keeps asking to go home?
Choose a calm time to explain the current plan in language your child can understand. Say whether the family has a confirmed return date, a visit planned, or no decision yet. If you previously used words that sounded more certain, correct them. Do not ask the child to manage adult decisions about work, housing, or money in order to understand where they will live.
Ask the child to name one thing they miss and one difficult part of the week. The first may call for connection or a familiar ritual; the second may need a specific change. For example, missing a grandparent could lead to an agreed contact time, while not understanding lunch arrangements calls for help from school. Avoid offering a new club as the answer to every kind of loss.
Try one continuity plan your family can maintain. You might cook a familiar meal together, keep a weekly family activity, or make space for photographs and objects the child chooses. Let them decide whether to share memories or keep them private. These activities should not require them to announce that the new home is now as good as the old one.
Alongside that, choose one small part of the current place to become familiar with. It might be learning the route to a nearby library or finding a quiet place after school. Choose one thing that could make this week easier. Review whether the change helps and listen if the problem turns out to be something else.
Keeping old friendships going across time zones
Ask who your child misses and what they would enjoy doing together now. “Could we plan a short call?” gives the friend something clear to answer. Showing drawings, comparing a small project, or saying hello can be enough for a first call. Child Mind Institute's moving guidance encourages keeping meaningful friendships while making connections in the new community.
Check the time in both places with the other family. Choose a start and finish that leave room for school, meals, and sleep. When live calls do not fit, try a letter, a photo of a drawing, or a message through an arrangement both families use. Younger children may need help starting and ending; older kids may want privacy.
A missed reply can mean a busy week or a different schedule. Make one invitation and leave time for an answer. If contact stays one-sided, or either child wants less of it, let the friendship become occasional or fade. You can say, “I know you miss how it used to be.” Keep chances to meet people nearby available, and ask how your child feels after calls.
What if homesickness is affecting everyday life?
What if my child refuses to unpack?
Ask what unpacking represents to them before treating it as defiance. Make essential belongings available and offer help with one area they choose. Explain the family plan and let your child take their time settling into the room.
What if school is the part they dread?
Ask about specific lessons, breaks, language demands, and peer treatment. Contact school staff to arrange support and a follow-up. Do not assume that a problem at school will resolve just because more time passes after the move.
What if we genuinely do not know where we will live next year?
Say what is uncertain and what remains dependable in the near term. Update your child when a plan is decided. Offer choices they can make, such as how to arrange their room.
When should I seek more help?
Ask a health professional or school counselor for advice if distress persists, worsens, or affects sleep, eating, attendance, or activities. Share the child's account and what you have already tried. Act promptly if your child reports threats or harm.
What to say at 6–8, 9–11 and 12–14
| Age | What changes | Line to try |
|---|---|---|
| 6–8 | Use concrete information about today and the next familiar event. Younger children may need repeated explanations of the difference between a visit and moving back. Keep an ordinary routine and a trusted adult available. | “Who will be with me after school?” |
| 9–11 | Ask what the child believes the family plan is and correct misunderstandings gently. Let them choose one familiar routine and identify a school difficulty adults can address. Avoid asking them to compare entire countries as good or bad. | “Can we keep our usual Saturday plan?” |
| 12–14 | Take the loss of familiar places, relationships, and independence seriously. Discuss the parts of planning that affect them and protect room for private feelings. Do not make them responsible for reassuring parents that the move was worth it. | “Are we going back? Do you know yet?” |
Key terms
- Homesickness
- Distress or longing connected with being away from a familiar home, people, or way of life.
- Continuity
- A familiar part of life that can carry across a change, such as a relationship, routine, or meaningful object.
- Confirmed plan
- A decision that has actually been made, distinct from a possible visit, hope, or idea being discussed by adults.
Give your child 10 free practice scenarios
No card to start. No subscription, ever.
Try one short round together: your child hears a social situation, answers out loud in their own words, and gets feedback. Some situations include a no, a mistake, or an awkward response to handle. Life Scenario has ten free scenarios, no card to start, and no subscription; you can use the feedback for a short conversation afterward.
Start practising freeQuestions parents ask
How long should homesickness last after moving abroad?
There is no single timetable for every child or move. Look at how your child is managing daily life and whether the help you have arranged is working. Persistent or worsening distress deserves attention.
What do I say when my child keeps asking to go home?
Acknowledge what they miss and explain the actual family plan. Separate what is known from what remains undecided. Then ask about one part of the present day that needs support.
Should we stop talking about the old home?
No. Remembering people and places does not prevent a child from living in the new setting. Keep space for memories while helping with current routines and opportunities.
Does homesickness mean the move was a mistake?
It shows that something important has changed and needs attention. It does not by itself settle the larger family decision. Ask what has become easier and what still feels hard.
What if siblings adjust at different speeds?
Ask each child about their own experience and support needs. Avoid using one sibling's enjoyment as evidence that another is not trying. Shared family routines can coexist with different activities and preferences.
How can we help our child try something new?
Offer a small activity or specific outing and allow your child to have mixed feelings about it. They may enjoy the outing and still feel homesick afterward.
Should my child keep calling old friends after moving?
Help arrange contact both children want, at times that work for both families. A short call or a message can fit around different time zones. If contact stays one-sided, give the friendship space and comfort your child about the change.
Sources
- Child Mind Institute, Advice for Moving With Children (accessed 2026): Familiar belongings, routines, communication, and maintaining relationships can support children through a move.
- Raising Children Network, Moving schools: how to make it easier (accessed 2026): Caregivers can listen to concerns, coordinate with the new school, and review how the child is settling and what support is needed.
- American Academy of Pediatrics / HealthyChildren.org, How to Make a Family Media Plan (accessed 2026): A family media plan can consider quality, privacy, routines, and balance when arranging children's media use.
Published