A friend keeps asking to copy my child’s homework
By the Life Scenario team · Updated · For parents of children 6–14 · School and classwork
Saying no without sacrificing kindness
When a friend wants to copy their homework, your child can say no kindly and offer to explain how they did it instead. Refusing can feel unfriendly, so it is a good chance to talk about honesty, peer pressure and holding a boundary without shaming a friend.
What is your child learning?
This situation creates opportunities to practise integrity, courage, empathy and relationship skills. Listen for whether your child can say no and still offer the friend some help.
How parents and educators can support the learning
Practise a friendly refusal and an alternative offer: explain the method or work together on a similar question, rather than handing over answers.
Try asking:
- Why might your friend want to copy?
- What makes saying no difficult?
- How could you help without doing the work?
- What if they ask again tomorrow?
What your child could say
Example replies, written for this page. They are not scored answers and not answers from real children.
- Ages 6–8
- “I can’t let you copy. But I can show you how to do it.”
- Ages 9–11
- “I’m not sending my answers, but I’ll show you how I did question three. It’s quick.”
- Ages 12–14
- “Not sending the answers, but call me and I’ll walk you through it.”
There is no doubt about the answer, yet the offer of help keeps your child on the friend’s side. Explaining one question also takes less time than copying would.
- Ages 6–8
- “We’ll both get in trouble. Tell the teacher you forgot.”
- Ages 9–11
- “If we hand in the same thing we’re both in trouble. Just tell her you ran out of time.”
- Ages 12–14
- “If it’s word for word she’ll notice, and then we’re both done. Just say you didn’t finish.”
The friend gets a way out that doesn’t involve your child. The reason given is a real risk to both of them, which goes down better than a lecture about cheating.
- Ages 6–8
- “No, sorry.”
- Ages 9–11
- “Still no. Sorry.”
- Ages 12–14
- “Not happening, sorry.”
Keep this for the second or third time they ask. Every new explanation gives the friend something to bargain with, while the same two words, said calmly each time, give them nothing.
The bigger life lesson
Helping a friend learn the method is kind, and it keeps your child’s own work honest.
Explore the situation. Discuss the emotions. Practise a response. Build a life skill.
Related situations
Guides for parents on this
Sources
- Nemours KidsHealth (for kids), How to handle peer pressure (reviewed February 2022): Kids can trust their own sense of right and wrong, say no and walk away, and ask a trusted adult such as a parent, teacher or school counselor for advice.
The example replies on this page were written by the Life Scenario team for illustration. They are not answers from children and are not scores.