A friend keeps asking to copy my child’s homework
By the Life Scenario team · Updated · For parents of children 6–14 · School and classwork
Give your child a no that comes with help: “I can’t let you copy, but I’ll show you how I did question three.” It keeps the friendship and makes the refusal about the work, not the friend. If the friend keeps pushing, a plain “No, sorry” and moving away is enough.
The situation, as your child sees it
It’s ten minutes before class. Your friend didn’t do the maths homework and quietly asks, “Can I just copy yours? No one will know.”
You like them and don’t want to make a fuss. But it’s your work, and if the teacher notices the same answers, you could both be in trouble.
Also happens as: a photo of your worksheet sent by message; a friend who wants to ‘just compare’ answers; a friend offering to let you copy theirs.
Three things a child could say
Example replies, written for this page. They are not scored answers and not answers from real children.
- Ages 6–8
- “I can’t let you copy. But I can show you how to do it.”
- Ages 9–11
- “I’m not sending my answers, but I’ll show you how I did question three. It’s quick.”
- Ages 12–14
- “Not sending the answers, but call me and I’ll walk you through it.”
The no is clear, and the offer of help shows your child is still on the friend’s side. It also takes less time than copying.
- Ages 6–8
- “We’ll both get in trouble. Tell the teacher you forgot.”
- Ages 9–11
- “If we hand in the same thing we’re both in trouble. Just tell her you ran out of time.”
- Ages 12–14
- “If it’s word for word she’ll notice, and then we’re both done. Just say you didn’t finish.”
It gives the friend a way out that doesn’t involve your child, and names a real risk to both of them rather than a lecture about cheating.
- Ages 6–8
- “No, sorry.”
- Ages 9–11
- “Still no. Sorry.”
- Ages 12–14
- “Not happening, sorry.”
For the second or third ask. Short, calm, repeated. A child who keeps explaining invites negotiation; a child who repeats the same two words usually gets left alone.
What you can say next
- “That’s tricky when it’s a friend. You handled it by not just giving in.”
- “What did you worry would happen if you said no?”
- “Next time, what would you say before they even ask?”
If it keeps happening. If the friend is pressuring your child daily, threatening to end the friendship, or others are joining in, your child can tell the teacher they keep being asked to share answers. They don’t have to name anyone to get help.
Questions parents ask
Isn’t helping a friend a good thing?
Yes, and that is the point of the first reply. Explaining a method is helping. Handing over answers is doing the friend’s work for them, and both can be punished for it.
What if the friend gets angry?
Most children get over a homework refusal within a day. If the friend stays angry over this, that says something about the friendship. It doesn’t mean your child did the wrong thing.
Should my child tell the teacher?
Not for one ask. If it becomes pressure, yes, and they can say “someone keeps asking to copy” without naming them.
My child already let them copy. What now?
Talk about it without shaming them. Ask what made it hard to say no, and practise one line for next time. If the teacher raises it, your child should be honest.
Related situations
Sources
- Nemours KidsHealth (for kids) — How to handle peer pressure (reviewed February 2022) (2022): Kids can trust their own sense of right and wrong, say no and walk away, and ask a trusted adult such as a parent, teacher or school counselor for advice.
The example replies on this page were written by the Life Scenario team for illustration. They are not answers from children and are not scores.