My child’s best friend has a new best friend
By the Life Scenario team · Updated · For parents of children 8–14 · Friendship and being left out
Understanding changing friendships without losing confidence
A best friend spending time with someone new can trigger jealousy, worry and a fear of being replaced. Children benefit from learning that closeness can change without anyone being an enemy.
What is your child learning?
This situation creates opportunities to practise self-awareness, resilience, kindness and relationship skills. Listen for whether your child can say what they miss without blaming the new friend.
How parents and educators can support the learning
Help the child name what they miss, invite their friend to spend time together without blame and stay open to new connections. Avoid framing the new friend as a rival.
Try asking:
- What are you most worried will change?
- How could you tell your friend you miss them?
- How might the new child feel?
- What other friendships could you nurture?
What your child could say
Example replies, written for this page. They are not scored answers and not answers from real children.
- Ages 8–9
- “I miss playing with you. Can we play tomorrow?”
- Ages 10–11
- “I miss hanging out with you. Want to do something Saturday, just us?”
- Ages 12–14
- “Feels like I never see you anymore. Free Saturday?”
Your child says the honest thing, that they miss the friend, and finishes with an actual plan. The friend can say yes without having to admit to anything.
- Ages 8–9
- “Hi, I’m Sam. Can I play too?”
- Ages 10–11
- “Hey, what are you two building? Can I help?”
- Ages 12–14
- “Hey, mind if I sit with you guys?”
Aimed at both of them, the new kid included. Joining the pair often goes better than trying to win the friend back from a rival.
- Ages 8–9
- “Okay. See you at school.”
- Ages 10–11
- “No worries, have fun. Text me later?”
- Ages 12–14
- “All good. Message me when you’re free.”
Some days the answer will be “not today”. Leaving calmly keeps the door open, and your child avoids a scene they would regret later.
The bigger life lesson
A friend can have other friends. Your child can say what they need and still respect who their friend spends time with.
Explore the situation. Discuss the emotions. Practise a response. Build a life skill.
Related situations
Guides for parents on this
Sources
- Nemours KidsHealth, Helping kids cope with cliques (reviewed June 2023): Parents can help a child who feels left out by reminding them of times they were angry with friends or siblings and how quickly things changed, and by encouraging friendships with people they can confide in, laugh with and trust.
- Raising Children Network (Australia), Children, friends and friendships: FAQs (last updated or reviewed December 2025): Primary-school children often have disagreements with friends and usually sort them out quickly; parents can listen first, suggest ideas such as playing in a larger group or role-playing saying sorry, and ask the teacher if it seems to be an ongoing problem. A child might move from one friend or group to another until they find someone who shares their interests. Not being invited to many parties is not in itself a cause for worry.
The example replies on this page were written by the Life Scenario team for illustration. They are not answers from children and are not scores.