“Someone in the game asked where I live”: what your child should reply, and what to do next

Key takeaways

• Nobody in a game needs your child’s address, town, school, full name or photos, however friendly they seem.
• The reply is short: “I don’t share that.” No reasons, no arguing, no made-up answers.
• Then four steps, in order: leave, block, report, tell a parent.
• Say now, before anything happens, that telling you will never cost them the game. Children who fear losing the game hide problems.
• Requests for photos, secrecy, moving to another app or meeting up are more serious: keep the messages and report them to the platform and to national help.

Why “don’t chat with strangers” isn’t enough in games

Offline, children have a rough idea of what a stranger is. In a game, everyone is an avatar with a username, and the person asking may have played alongside your child for a week, sent a gift, or helped them through a hard level. By the time the question comes (“What city are you in?”, “Which school do you go to?”) they no longer feel like a stranger.

Children also don’t want to seem rude. A friendly player asks a normal-sounding question and answering feels polite. That is why a ready-made line matters: it lets your child refuse without having to decide, in the moment, whether this particular person is safe.

Keep the risk in proportion. Many people who ask are other children being nosy. But a username tells you nothing about age, and Raising Children Network notes that gaming online with people a child doesn’t know can bring them into contact with adults posing as children. The rule doesn’t need to be frightening. It is simply that personal information stays private, whoever asks.

4 things your child can say when someone in a game asks where they live

1. 1.“I don’t share that.”

   The default reply. Four words and no reason given. Explaining (“my mum won’t let me”) invites bargaining such as “she won’t know”; a flat no gives nothing to push against.

2. 2.“Sorry, I don’t give out information like that.”

   A politer version for children who find a flat no too rude. Raising Children Network suggests a line very like this one. After saying it, your child stops replying to that player.

3. 3.“Let’s just play the game.”

   For a player your child knows from the game and wants to keep playing with. It moves the chat back to the game. If the person asks again, it is time to leave and follow the steps below.

4. 4.“Gotta go.”

   The exit. Your child owes nobody an explanation before leaving a server. Leaving first, then blocking and reporting, is always allowed, even if it feels rude.

6 lines for when a game chat gets uncomfortable

1. 1.“I don’t send pictures.”

   For any request for a photo or a video, of any kind, from anyone met in a game. Then leave, block, report and tell a parent.

2. 2.“I don’t switch to other apps.”

   For “add me on…” or “let’s chat somewhere else”. Moving a child to a more private app is a common step before things go wrong.

3. 3.“I don’t keep secrets from my parents.”

   For “don’t tell anyone” or “this is just between us”. Asking a child for secrecy is a clear sign to stop and tell an adult.

4. 4.“I don’t do video calls.”

   For invitations to camera or live calls from people your child only knows from the game.

5. 5.“No thanks, I don’t want gifts.”

   For offers of in-game currency or items from someone your child doesn’t know in real life, especially if a favour is expected later.

6. 6.“Stop messaging me.”

   The firmest line, for someone who keeps going after a no. Your child says it once, then blocks and reports without waiting for a reply.

What should my child do after replying?

Leave. Your child exits the game or server. There is no need to wait, explain or say goodbye.

Block and report. Roblox, like most online games, has tools to block another user and to report behaviour that breaks its rules; the Roblox help pages linked from eSafety’s guide show the current steps. Reporting is how the platform finds out who is asking children for personal information.

Tell a parent. This step matters most, because you can check what was said, keep screenshots, and change settings. Roblox has account types by age, with different chat rules and parental controls, and a parent can link their own account. Game consoles also let you control who your child plays with and whether they can chat.

What not to say (and what to say instead)

What do I say to my child after a stranger asked where they live?

Stay calm, whatever you feel. Your first line: “Thank you for telling me. You did exactly the right thing.” Then ask what happened: what the person asked, what your child answered, and whether they also asked for pictures, secrecy, or to move to another app.

If your child already gave something away, such as a town or a school name, don’t punish them. Block and report the account together, check the privacy and chat settings, and tell your child that coming to you was the most important step. Keep screenshots in case you need to report further.

Then practise the reply once. You play the friendly player: “Cool, what school do you go to?” Your child answers “I don’t share that” and says what they would do next. It takes one minute and makes the next time much easier.

What if it’s more serious than a nosy question?

What to say at 6–8, 9–11 and 12–14

6–8

Keep chat off or limited to people you know in real life, and play near your child. One rule and one line are enough: where we live is private. Practise it as a game at the kitchen table.

“I don’t tell people where I live.”

9–11

Children this age often want to play with new people and seem grown-up. Teach the full sequence: reply, leave, block, report, tell. Raising Children Network suggests keeping online play to people you and your child know until around 12.

“I don’t share that. Gotta go.”

12–14

More independence, private messages and other apps. Discuss the pattern rather than one rule: compliments, gifts, “you’re so mature”, moving to another app, secrecy. Agree that telling you never costs them the game.

“Nah, I don’t switch apps.”

Key terms

Personal information

Anything that helps someone find your child offline: address, town, school, full name, photos, phone number, or where they’ll be and when.

Block

A setting that stops a specific user from contacting your child or joining their games.

Report

Telling the platform about behaviour that breaks its rules, so moderators can act on the account.

Grooming

When someone builds a child’s trust online in order to exploit them. Warning signs include gifts, flattery, requests for secrecy and moving to private apps.