Classmates laughed at my child in class
By the Life Scenario team · Updated · For parents of children 6–14 · Teasing and embarrassment
For a one-off moment, the fastest way out is to own it lightly: “Yep, wrong day!” or “Oops, maths brain is off today.” A small smile and carrying on tells the room there is nothing more to see. If one child keeps it going, your child can calmly say “Okay, that’s enough” and turn back to the work.
The situation, as your child sees it
The teacher asks you a question in maths and you answer, but it’s wrong. Behind you, some of your friends giggle. Your face goes hot and you want to disappear under the desk.
It lasts a few seconds, but it feels like the whole class is still thinking about it at lunch.
Also happens as: mismatched shoes; a backpack spilling everywhere; coming dressed up on the wrong day; mispronouncing a word while reading.
Three things a child could say
Example replies, written for this page. They are not scored answers and not answers from real children.
- Ages 6–8
- “Oops! My brain is still asleep.”
- Ages 9–11
- “Yeah, that was not my finest answer.”
- Ages 12–14
- “Yep, everyone saw that. Moving on.”
Laughing along at the moment, not at themselves, takes the fun out of it for everyone else. It works best for a one-off slip and a child who finds joking easy.
- Ages 6–8
- “Okay, it was funny. Can we stop now?”
- Ages 9–11
- “Alright, you’ve had your laugh.”
- Ages 12–14
- “Okay, it wasn’t that funny.”
For when the giggling doesn’t stop on its own. A calm, slightly bored tone signals it has stopped working. Anger tends to keep it going.
- Ages 6–8
- “Wait, how do you do it then?”
- Ages 9–11
- “So what’s the right answer? I want to get it.”
- Ages 12–14
- “Fine, so what is it then?”
For a wrong answer specifically. Turning back to the question moves attention from your child to the maths, and shows the mistake didn’t knock them over.
What you can say next
- “Everyone has a moment like that. It feels huge today, and most kids will forget it by Friday.”
- “What did you do right after? That was the hard part.”
- “If it happens again, what would you want to say?”
If it keeps happening. If the same children bring it up day after day, give it a nickname, or it spreads online, it is no longer a one-off moment. Tell the teacher what is being said and by whom, and ask how they will handle it in class.
Questions parents ask
Should I tell the teacher about one incident?
Usually not. Most one-off laughs fade within days. If your child is dreading school because of it, a quiet word asking the teacher to keep an eye out is reasonable.
My child doesn’t find joking easy. What should they do?
Skip the joke. A calm “okay” and looking back at the work does the same job. Nobody has to be funny to get through this.
When does laughing turn into bullying?
When it is repeated, targeted at one child, and meant to hurt. A room laughing once at a mistake is embarrassing; the same kids laughing every day is something to raise with the school.
My child now won’t put their hand up in class. What can I do?
Take the pressure off for a few days, then set a small goal, such as one answer they are sure of. Let the teacher know so they can ask a question your child can succeed at.
Should my child laugh at themselves?
Laughing along with the moment is fine. Putting themselves down to get in first (“I’m so stupid”) isn’t. Teach the difference.
Related situations
Sources
- StopBullying.gov, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services — What kids can do (last reviewed March 8, 2022) (2022): When kids see bullying they can tell a trusted adult and be kind to the child being bullied; staying silent can make it worse. Online, kids should not share anything that could hurt or embarrass anyone. A child being teased can ask the other child to stop in a calm, clear voice, or try to laugh it off if joking comes easily.
The example replies on this page were written by the Life Scenario team for illustration. They are not answers from children and are not scores.