Social skills scenarios for 9–11 year olds: 51 real-life situations

Self-control: 11 scenarios

1. Winning is winning?

   Ages 8–12

   You win a backyard race and can't help but keep bragging. Your friend remains quiet for a while and says nothing. What do you do?

   Also practises: empathy, relationship skills, social awareness

   Practise this one: Winning is winning?

2. Nervous Performer

   Ages 6–12

   Your teacher asks if anyone wants to perform a talent for Friday’s class. You’re interested but nervous others will laugh. What do you do?

   Also practises: courage, confidence

   Practise this one: Nervous Performer

3. Tablet Time with Sibling

   Ages 8–14

   You and your sibling are supposed to share tablet time. When it’s their turn, you realise you forgot to save your game and ask to finish. They don't want to share. What do you do?

   Also practises: empathy, relationship skills, responsibility

   Practise this one: Tablet Time with Sibling

4. Classmate poker!

   Ages 6–14

   Your classmate keeps poking others with a pencil and making jokes during quiet time. He pokes someone and they yell "ouch". The teacher asks if anyone saw what happened. What do you do?

   Also practises: social awareness, responsibility

   Practise this one: Classmate poker!

5. Cousin's Tall Tales at the Family Gathering

   Ages 6–14

   At a family gathering, your cousin starts making up stories about school to impress the adults. You know they’re not true. Everyone seems amazed. What do you do?

   Also practises: empathy, relationship skills, integrity

   Practise this one: Cousin's Tall Tales at the Family Gathering

6. Gift Surprise

   Ages 6–14

   At a family party, you’re given a gift by someone you don’t know well. You don’t like it — and everyone is watching. What do you do?

   Also practises: empathy, relationship skills, responsibility

   Practise this one: Gift Surprise

7. Juice Spill Giggles

   Ages 6–14

   Someone apologises quickly after spilling juice all over your artwork, but keeps laughing about it later. What do you do?

   Also practises: confidence, social awareness, resilience

   Practise this one: Juice Spill Giggles

8. Mismatched Shoes

   Ages 6–14

   You rush to put on your shoes at school and realise too late that you’re wearing mismatched ones. A classmate points it out to the whole class and laughs. What do you do?

   Also practises: confidence, self-awareness, optimism

   Practise this one: Mismatched Shoes

9. Nervous notes

   Ages 6–14

   Before your piano recital, you get nervous and want to drop out. Your parent and teacher both encourage you. What do you do?

   Also practises: empathy, relationship skills, responsibility

   Practise this one: Nervous notes

10. Taking Turns

    Ages 6–14

    You’re playing a board game and another student keeps skipping your turn by mistake. It’s happened twice. What do you do?

    Also practises: resilience, confidence

    Practise this one: Taking Turns

11. When Mistakes Make Us Giggle

    Ages 6–14

    In maths class, your teacher asks for an answer and you give the wrong one. Some of your friends giggle behind you. What do you do?

    Also practises: social awareness, focus, responsibility

    Practise this one: When Mistakes Make Us Giggle

All self-control scenarios, for every age

Empathy: 2 scenarios

1. Friend Chooses Who to Sit With in Lunch Line

   Ages 6–14

   In the cafeteria line, your friend says he only wants to hang out with certain kids. Another student standing nearby hears and looks hurt. What do you do?

   Also practises: relationship skills, courage, social awareness

   Practise this one: Friend Chooses Who to Sit With in Lunch Line

2. Why Won’t My Friend Talk?

   Ages 6–14

   Your best friend hasn’t spoken to you all day and seems upset. You didn’t do anything wrong — at least you think you didn’t. What do you do?

   Also practises: relationship skills, integrity, social awareness

   Practise this one: Why Won’t My Friend Talk?

All empathy scenarios, for every age

Courage: 7 scenarios

1. Taking Turns

   Ages 8–12

   You’re in a play and supposed to share lines. Your partner keeps trying to say all of them. What do you do?

   Also practises: relationship skills, self-awareness, empathy

   Practise this one: Taking Turns

2. Is This Video too Old for Us?

   Ages 6–11

   At a friend’s house, they start watching a YouTube video that says “for ages 12+.” No adults are around. What do you do?

   Also practises: empathy, integrity, self-control, responsibility

   Practise this one: Is This Video too Old for Us?

3. Friend Wants to Borrow New Toy After Last Time's Accident

   Ages 6–12

   Your friend asks to play with your new toy, but the last time they broke one. They promise to be careful. What do you do?

   Also practises: relationship skills, empathy, social awareness

   Practise this one: Friend Wants to Borrow New Toy After Last Time's Accident

4. Leadership troubles

   Ages 8–14

   You and two others are assigned as group leaders. One person tries to take over everything. You’re not sure how to speak up. What do you do?

   Also practises: empathy, social awareness, self-control

   Practise this one: Leadership troubles

5. Balancing Secrets and Safety

   Ages 6–14

   A friend shares something serious with you at recess and asks you not to tell anyone. Later, it seems like they might need help. What do you do?

   Also practises: relationship skills, empathy, social awareness

   Practise this one: Balancing Secrets and Safety

6. Friends in a Tiff

   Ages 6–14

   Two of your friends stop talking and want you to 'choose sides.' What do you do?

   Also practises: relationship skills, empathy, social awareness

   Practise this one: Friends in a Tiff

7. Toy Trouble

   Ages 6–14

   You're at your friend’s house and you borrow their toy and accidentally break a piece. They haven’t noticed yet. What do you do?

   Also practises: empathy, integrity, responsibility

   Practise this one: Toy Trouble

All courage scenarios, for every age

Social awareness: 6 scenarios

1. Feeling a little lonely

   Ages 8–14

   You've been increasingly ignored by more and more of your friends. You don't know why. What do you do?

   Also practises: self-control, self-awareness, optimism

   Practise this one: Feeling a little lonely

2. Group Text Turns into Teasing Trouble

   Ages 8–14

   Your classmates start a group text teasing someone who’s not in the group. At first it seems like a joke, but it keeps going. You’re in the chat. What do you do?

   Also practises: empathy, relationship skills, online safety

   Practise this one: Group Text Turns into Teasing Trouble

3. Recess Dare

   Ages 8–14

   At recess, a group dares you to ring the fire bell. You know it's wrong, but they are all pressuring you. They say you’re ‘too scared’ to do it. What do you do?

   Also practises: self-control, focus, responsibility

   Practise this one: Recess Dare

4. Echoes of the Coach

   Ages 6–14

   During PE, your teammates repeat what the coach says in a mocking tone. The coach hasn’t noticed. You’re not sure if it’s funny or rude. What do you do?

   Also practises: relationship skills, confidence, resilience

   Practise this one: Echoes of the Coach

5. Left Out of Sleepover

   Ages 6–14

   You hear your classmates talking about a weekend sleepover but you are not invited. What do you do?

   Also practises: relationship skills, courage, empathy

   Practise this one: Left Out of Sleepover

6. When Laughter Hurts

   Ages 6–14

   During group work, one classmate makes a loud, rude comment about someone’s idea. The group laughs. What do you do?

   Also practises: courage, empathy, relationship skills

   Practise this one: When Laughter Hurts

All social awareness scenarios, for every age

Self-awareness: 7 scenarios

1. Argument Echo

   Ages 8–14

   You get into an argument with your parent about screen time. They raise their voice — and you yell back. An hour later, you notice your heart still racing and your mind replaying every word. What do you do?

   Also practises: self-control, responsibility

   Practise this one: Argument Echo

2. New Group. New You?

   Ages 8–14

   You’ve joined a new group of friends who like things you’re not really into. They joke about people who study too hard or help teachers. You laugh along — even though it makes you uncomfortable. That night you think that you've changed a little since hanging out with them, and you don't like it. What do you do?

   Also practises: belonging, integrity, courage

   Practise this one: New Group. New You?

3. You Snap. You regret

   Ages 8–14

   You’re doing homework when your little brother bursts into your room and accidentally knocks over your water bottle onto your project. You yell, “Get out!” — louder than you meant to. He runs away crying. A few minutes later, you realise he didn’t mean to — and your throat feels tight with guilt. What do you do?

   Also practises: self-control, empathy, kindness

   Practise this one: You Snap. You regret

4. Friend's Success

   Ages 6–14

   Your best friend wins an award you also applied for. You’re happy for them — but when everyone congratulates them, you feel a sting in your chest and catch yourself saying, “It’s fine, I didn’t even want it.”

   Later, you realise you did really want it, and you feel a bit jealous. What do you do?

   Also practises: empathy, resilience

   Practise this one: Friend's Success

5. The Goal that didn't count

   Ages 6–14

   You kick the ball into the goal during a family soccer game, but your older brother says it didn’t go in — even though you think it did. Everyone’s watching. What do you do?

   Also practises: integrity, self-control

   Practise this one: The Goal that didn't count

6. The Participation Medal

   Ages 6–14

   At a fun family race, you don’t win a medal — but your little brother does. You feel jealous when everyone cheers for him. How should you respond?

   Also practises: optimism, self-control, social awareness

   Practise this one: The Participation Medal

7. Whispers and Glasses

   Ages 6–14

   You overhear a whisper about someone’s new glasses looking ‘weird.’ The student hears it too and goes quiet. What do you do?

   Also practises: self-control, confidence, courage

   Practise this one: Whispers and Glasses

All self-awareness scenarios, for every age

Resilience: 5 scenarios

1. Friend Next Door?

   Ages 8–14

   You and your neighbour have been best friends for years — you hang out almost every day after school.

   One morning you call out over the fence like usual, but this time he says, “I’ve got a friend over today — maybe another time.” As the day goes on, you see them laughing and playing together, and you start wondering if he likes his new friend more than you. What do you do?

   Also practises: self-awareness, kindness, relationship skills

   Practise this one: Friend Next Door?

2. Movie without me?

   Ages 8–14

   You and your two closest friends always hang out on weekends — it’s your thing. On Friday afternoon, you overhear them talking excitedly about going to the movies the next day. You wait for them to mention inviting you… but they don’t. What do you do?

   Also practises: self-awareness, kindness

   Practise this one: Movie without me?

3. Silent Treatment

   Ages 8–14

   You accidentally said something in a group chat that embarrassed your friend. You apologised right away, but since then, they’ve stopped talking to you — no replies, no eye contact at school.

   Days turn into a week. You start wondering if the friendship’s over.

   What do you do?

   Also practises: online safety, relationship skills, self-awareness, integrity, empathy

   Practise this one: Silent Treatment

4. Unchosen

   Ages 8–14

   Your teacher announces a surprise class project — “Pick your own partners!” — and the room bursts into noise. You quickly turn to your best friend, but they’ve already teamed up with someone else. You look around and see a classmate sitting alone — someone who’s usually quiet and not very confident. You feel disappointed, and part of you wants to just work alone. Then the classmate looks up and says softly, “Do you… want to work together?”

   Also practises: empathy, kindness, self-awareness

   Practise this one: Unchosen

5. Team Captain

   Ages 6–14

   Your cousin is chosen as team captain even though you’ve played longer. You feel it’s unfair. What’s the best way to handle your feelings?

   Also practises: self-control, belonging

   Practise this one: Team Captain

All resilience scenarios, for every age

Confidence: 4 scenarios

1. Playground nasty

   Ages 8–14

   A classmate teases you in front of others and says you always get things wrong. Your friends are watching how you respond. Some giggle, others look concerned. What do you do?

   Also practises: courage, social awareness

   Practise this one: Playground nasty

2. Public Eyes

   Ages 8–14

   You’re presenting in class, and halfway through, someone in the front row starts whispering.

   You suddenly forget your next line and can only think about what they’re saying.

   You freeze, trying to remember your words, but your brain feels blank.

   What do you do?

   Also practises: focus, self-awareness, resilience

   Practise this one: Public Eyes

3. Quiet no more

   Ages 6–14

   At school, people call you “the quiet one.”

   You hear it so often that even when you want to speak up, you stop yourself because “quiet” feels like your role.

   But lately you’ve started to wonder if you’ve let that label decide too much about you.

   Also practises: self-awareness, courage

   Practise this one: Quiet no more

4. Tryout Nerves

   Ages 6–14

   You’ve practiced for weeks to make the school sports team. On tryout day, you miss your first shot — then your second. You can feel everyone watching. Your coach frowns and writes something on their clipboard.

   You start to think, "Maybe I’m just not good enough." What do you do?

   Also practises: courage, resilience, self-awareness

   Practise this one: Tryout Nerves

All confidence scenarios, for every age

Optimism: 2 scenarios

1. Losing Streak

   Ages 8–14

   Your basketball team has lost five games in a row. Everyone’s frustrated. At practice, some players stop trying and start blaming others. You feel the same — what’s the point if you keep losing? What do you do?

   Also practises: resilience, empathy

   Practise this one: Losing Streak

2. Bright Colors, Big Decisions

   Ages 6–14

   It’s pyjama day and you forgot. Everyone else is in bright colors. You've gone to school with your normal school uniform. What do you do?

   Also practises: courage, empathy, self-awareness

   Practise this one: Bright Colors, Big Decisions

All optimism scenarios, for every age

Belonging: 3 scenarios

1. Cool Kids Club Leaves Classmates Feeling Left Out

   Ages 8–14

   Someone tells you that there is a 'cool kids' chat and only certain people are a part of it. You haven't been included. You feel left out. What do you do?

   Also practises: relationship skills, social awareness, self-control

   Practise this one: Cool Kids Club Leaves Classmates Feeling Left Out

2. New Player, Old Team?

   Ages 8–14

   You’re the only new player on a tight-knit sports team.

   They don’t tease you, but they don’t include you either — no one passes the ball or sits with you after practice.

   You start doubting if you even belong there.

   One day, the coach asks you to lead warm-ups, and the others roll their eyes.

   Also practises: resilience, integrity, optimism

   Practise this one: New Player, Old Team?

3. Friendships choices

   Ages 6–14

   A new student sits alone at lunch. You want to sit with your usual group, but you also don’t want the new kid to feel left out. What do you do?

   Also practises: empathy, courage

   Practise this one: Friendships choices

All belonging scenarios, for every age

Honesty and integrity: 4 scenarios

1. Lost Homework

   Ages 8–12

   You worked hard on your homework, but when you get to class, you realise you left it at home. Your teacher reminds you it’s due today. You can't go home but you can't hand in something that isn't there. What do you do?

   Also practises: optimism, responsibility, self-control

   Practise this one: Lost Homework

2. Classmate Copy

   Ages 6–12

   A classmate keeps asking to copy your math's homework. You like them and don’t want to cause trouble. What do you do?

   Also practises: courage, empathy, relationship skills

   Practise this one: Classmate Copy

3. Bump and Bend

   Ages 8–14

   Someone bumps into you and gives a half-hearted “sorry” before walking off. You look down, and the school project you were carrying got bent. What do you do?

   Also practises: optimism, courage, self-control

   Practise this one: Bump and Bend

4. Meal was.....

   Ages 6–14

   You’re having dinner at your friend’s house. Their parent serves food that you really don’t like, but everyone else is eating and saying how good it is. Your friend’s mum looks at you and asks, “Do you like it?”

   Also practises: social awareness, courage

   Practise this one: Meal was.....

Honesty scenarios for kids, with a strong answer for each

How to use these with 9–11 year olds

What children this age can usually manage

Between 9 and 11, friendships and groups start to matter more, and so does what classmates think. Children this age can usually weigh up two choices, see a situation from someone else’s side when you ask them to, and come up with their own words. Being embarrassed in front of friends is a strong pull, which is why many of these scenarios are about doing the right thing while others watch.

How long to spend

Ten minutes is a good length: one scenario, a proper discussion and a short role-play. Some children like to do two and compare them. If the first answer comes quickly, ask what would happen next.

How to prompt

1. Let your child read the scenario themselves, then ask what they would do and why.
2. Ask for two answers, the easy one and the brave one, and go through what would happen after each.
3. Ask how each person in the scene sees it, including the one who says nothing.
4. Let them write their own line, then practise it with you playing the other child: kind the first time, a bit difficult the second.
5. In class, give each pair one scenario and compare the choices afterwards.